This young lady was reported to have attempted suicide after receiving her results for the Baccalaureate 2022 which she was unsuccessful in. She drank a liter of kerosene to end her life and possibly to, cut short a “punishment/threat” from materializing. Luckily, she was discovered in time to be rescued, and is currently receiving medical help at a health institution.
The media was flooded with her attempted suicide issue, and as per usual many people made their thoughts known via commentary sections. It was sad reading some comments, as they were not encouraging at all. We need a reality check! Our societies today are raising people who have little to no empathy, this however is another topic for another day.
Earlier stated, was a possible reason for Christelle’s action of suicide; a way to cut short a punishment or a threat. Many parents often levy punishments on their children who fail exams, prior to that they promise punishments and or threats which are also punishments. Punishments like kneeling down for hours, “picking a pin” also for hours, receiving as many as twenty-four lashes of cane, “sitting on the wall” and so many more, so long as it inflicts some amount of pain on the child. This pain, they say is to act as a correctional object, thus reminding the child to study hard to pass exams and avoid receiving the punishment.
Parents, also make threats such as “as you fail di exam so, joh know say ya own school don finish, nah mechanic wok you go learn”, “nah village, one way!, joh try fail di exam”, “nah married you go go when you fail dis exam”, “joh know say, nah farm you go di wok after you fail di exam”, “I go kill you time wey you fail dis exam”, “you go comot di house when you fail dah exam”, these are common threats parents make to their children when exams are around the corner. Many children are fearful of their life’s and futures at the mention of the discontinuation of their studies if they do fail the exams. Fear of being beaten, driven out of the house and onto the streets, getting sent to the village to work in the farms instead of schooling, being forced into marriage, and in the extreme the fear of being killed by their parents. Funny enough, the comments made to examination candidates by their parents or guardians and sometimes teachers are usually negative, when they actually need positivity at its peak during such times.
These threats and promised punishments may work positively for some children, who would study really hard to pass exams to escape such punishments and on the other hand it would traumatize them. This trauma may come from having received similar punishments in the past, or from merely visualizing the said threats and punishments. As a result, in the advent of failure some children run away from home for days, some fall into acute depression, and in the worst case scenario some commit suicide. Cases of students ingesting poisonous substances like a popular bleaching agent Eau de Javel, an overdose of sleep pills, kerosene, “arata bomb” used to get rid of mice, “mocap” a Powdered pesticide used by farmers are quite rampant after the publication of public examination results. While others take the higher road; jumping into rivers to drown, hanging themselves, slitting their wrists, stabbing themselves, all in a quest for peace and an escape from their parents or guardians threats and punishments in case of failure.
Parents and guardians Need to know that their children are individually different and this difference has to be respected. The psychological setup of every child is different as such every child has a different approach to threats and punishments. Some might adjust and try as much as possible to stay within the lines while others become rather frightened and look for escape routes for instance, telling lies, running away from home, and in the worst case scenario some commit suicide.
It is not only tough love which works as far as correcting, directing or training children is concerned. Perhaps in the past, when parents threaten a child with punishments the more likely they were to obey and execute the orders, but in recent times punishment and threats have proven rather destructive and futile as far as training children is concerned. As many would rather die than face their parents or guardians. It is therefore needful for parents and guardians to refrain from threatening their children with severe punishments in case of failure of exams thereby putting them in traumatic conditions as they seek peace and escape from their parents or guardians wraths.
Instead of threats parents should encourage their children to study, and understand in order to pass exams as well as gain knowledge in their learning process. And if the children happen to fail, parents should encourage children to understand that failure is a part of life, and a component of eventual success; We learn from our mistakes.
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